Better Late than Clever

The last episode of The Sopranos airs this coming Sunday on HBO, and my boyfriend and I had become the last people in America without cable television. Until recently, that is. The decision to get cable was not an easy one…well, actually, it was. There was no way in Hell that I was going to miss the last episode of a program that made me proud of the writing talent that exists in what I call television’s underground.

Without cable, we got our Sopranos ‘’fix’’ from our ‘’Married With Children’’ friends who would graciously, sometimes begrudgingly, make DVD’s for us. And together my partner and I would sit, cuddled on the sofa while praying that somehow Adriana and Christopher would walk off into the sunset without having to deal with the FBI, or Tony’s men. Or that the Mob would spare the life of Tony’s ‘’outed’’ gay henchman Vito. In other words, we were just as delusional about the reality of television mob-life as we were about the fact that our friends would be our ‘’enablers’’ forever.

Then one day last week, we got a few telephone calls that sent chills down our collective spine. Every friggin’ one of our friends had decided to leave the heat of the desert and go on HOLIDAY WITH THEIR FAMILIES! My boyfriend and I stood there staring into one another’s face, frozen in time. Seconds that stretched on for hours crept by as we stood there, sweat running down our brows as if in slow motion. He had difficulty swallowing. I tore my eyes from his panicked glare and saw that his lips were moving. He was trying to speak. His lips were dry and cracked and he let out small bursts of breath. ‘’Honey,’’ I said, holding on to his shoulders, ‘’you know what this means don’t you?’’ He lowered his head and nodded. ‘’Yes,’’ he said, ‘’I do know what this means. We are going to have to make some fast friends with some other people. Real fast!’’

Well, we didn’t make any fast, new friends. He and I are too bloody old and we just can’t move that quickly anymore. Few things give me unconditional and unrelenting joy. Many of those things involve loved ones and friends. But a good film, or a brilliantly written script just sends my creative spirit soaring. And when that spirit is set loose, I feel that I can do the unthinkable, like getting cable television for the first time at the age of 51.